Ben Zornes
Lead Pastor
Ben grew up in the Denver area in a Christian home, as a pastor's kid. After high school Ben began serving as a worship leader, youth pastor, college minister. He helped start a few churches in his early 20s. One ministry was a 10 week discipleship program for college students from around the world. That's how he met his wife Elsje, who is from South Africa. They've been married since 2012, and have four kids to show for it. They moved to Moscow in 2015 for Ben to go through Greyfriars Hall (completed in 2018) as well as the Masters in Theology & Letters program at New Saint Andrews College (completed 2019). He was ordained as a Minister of Word & Sacrament in December 2019.
Josh Edgren
Assistant Pastor
Josh's early years were spent in the rain-forests of western Washington, but eventually he found his way out and trekked off to Tennessee to study physics. While there he became immensely smitten with a lovely redhead named Kelsie who agreed to marry him in 2015. They moved to Moscow in 2020, Josh completed Greyfriars Hall in 2024, and he is currently striving manfully towards the Masters in Theology and Letters at NSA. Josh also serves as a Reader of Mathematics at NSA. He and Kelsie have six children of whom they are terribly fond.
Gresham Schlect
Parish Elder
Husband of Emily.
Father of 6
CTO of Lightcast
Father of 6
CTO of Lightcast
Bryan Kuranaga
Parish Elder
Husband to Kathryn.
Father of five.
Just a simple man living in a complex world.
Father of five.
Just a simple man living in a complex world.
Jeremiah Jasso
Parish Elder
Jeremiah grew up as a Pastors kid in Colorado. He is a CPA by trade, but is working towards becoming a bi-vocational pastor. He recently completed the pastoral training program, Greyfriars Hall. He is married to Holly, and at last count they had two children.
Kurt Robinson
Parish Elder
Husband to Yasmin
Father of 6
Sales at Maddox Transformer
Father of 6
Sales at Maddox Transformer
Matt Gray
Pro Tem Elder
Campus Minister for Collegiate Reformed Fellowship
Teaching Elder at Christ Church
Husband of Laurie
Father to 7 daughters
Teaching Elder at Christ Church
Husband of Laurie
Father to 7 daughters
Ben Merkle
Pro Tem Elder
President of New Saint Andrews College
Teaching elder at Christ Church
Husband to Bekah
Father of 5
Grandbabies are being adding regularly
Teaching elder at Christ Church
Husband to Bekah
Father of 5
Grandbabies are being adding regularly
Ian Kern
Pro Tem Elder
Parish Elder at Christ Church
Husband to June
Father of 4
Husband to June
Father of 4
Kalen Brockwalder
Chairman of the Deacon Board
Husband to Kortnie
Father of 4
Father of 4
Andy Trauger
Deacon
Andrew (Andy) Trauger was born at a young age and grew up as a child. He's from the South, which is solely the grace of God. But God's grace also called him to uproot and move to Moscow in 2023, where he serves as the CFO of New Saint Andrews College. He's working on 30 years of marriage to his lovely bride, Heather, who is a consummate pianist. Together, they have four kiddos--two here and two still in Texas (one married). In his spare time, he enjoys umpiring high school baseball and writing an eight-volume fantasy series of novels...which he highly recommends you read.
Tyler Foster
Deacon
Married to Hannah Foster
Hebrew Professor at NSA
Enjoys woodworking in his spare time
Hebrew Professor at NSA
Enjoys woodworking in his spare time
Annual Questionnaire for Church Officers
INTRODUCTION
The purpose of these questions is to provide true and ongoing accountability within the families of our elders, while at the same time preserving our privacy. The elders & deacons of Living Stone Reformed Church will go through these questions with his wife annually. Our expectation is that these questions will be a tool for the couple to determine whether anything has arisen within the home which would disqualify the husband as a church officer, or which threatens to. If either of these two conditions pertain, then the husband is charged by the elders to take appropriate action, whether that action is simple repentance or arranging for pastoral counsel.
FOR WIVES OF ELDERS
Above reproach
1. Is your husband guilty of any offense over the past year that would cause a serious reproach to Christ, His church, or the gospel if that offense were to come to light (1 Tim. 3:2)?
2. Does your husband hold to any distinctive view which might bring you, your household, or Christ’s church under reproach?
One-woman man
3. Is any person or thing (e.g., work or hobby) causing you to compete for the time and affection of your husband so that it has aroused a godly jealousy? Has your husband developed any unhealthy emotional/relational attachments to any other women that cause you jealousy (1 Tim. 3:2)?
4. Is your husband still pursuing you (1 Tim. 3:2; Eph. 5:25-27)? Does he render to you the honor and love you should have as his wife? Does he demonstrate tenderness to you (Eph. 5:29)?
5. Is your husband sexually pure (1 Tim. 3:2)? Does he use pornography? Is he given to ungodly lust or fantasy (Matt. 5:28)?
6. Has your husband met your sexual needs (1 Cor. 7:1-4)? Does he consider your desires in lovemaking and giving you pleasure (Phil. 2:3)?
7. Does your husband pursue you in non-sexual ways? Does your husband understand you (1 Pet. 3:7)? What is he doing lately to know you better?
Temperate
8. Is your husband given to any excess (1 Tim. 3:2)? Is there any area in which he substantively lacks self-control? Is he given to great highs or lows emotionally? Is he judicious or given to extremes in the counsel he gives?
Prudent
9. Does your husband manage your household finances with prudence (1 Tim. 3:2)? Does he allocate to you enough resources to feed, clothe, and otherwise provide for the needs of the family (1 Tim. 5:8)? In comparison to spending for the family at large, does his spending on himself appear selfish? Is your husband planning for the family’s long-term needs?
Respectable
10. Do you find rendering respect to your husband something you must strain to do (Eph. 5:33)?
11. Do others respect your husband (1 Tim. 3:2)? Why or why not?
Hospitable
12. Is your husband ready to show hospitality to others (1 Tim. 3:2)? Do guests enjoy visiting your home? Does your husband bear with unexpected inconveniences graciously?
Sound in doctrine, able to teach (principally for elders)
13. Is your husband well-equipped to encourage saints of differing maturity levels in the truths of Scripture (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:9)? Can he discern and refute error readily (Titus 1:9)? Is he vigilant in his care of those allotted to his charge (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2)? Is he taking any steps to study and equip himself to discharge his responsibilities to the flock more faithfully?
14. Does your husband have a solid grasp of the church’s doctrinal statement and general Bible content (Titus 1:9)? If called upon, could he defend and explain these doctrines from the Word?
Judicious use of alcohol, food, and other substances
15. Has your husband been drunk in the last year? Does he “need” an alcoholic beverage after work to unwind? If your neighbors knew the frequency and volume of alcohol he drinks, would they say he is enslaved to wine (1 Tim. 3:3)?
16. Periodic feasting aside, would others consider your husband a glutton?
Not pugnacious or contentious, gentle
17. Is your husband ever given to violent outbursts (1 Tim. 3:3)? Has he struck you or any member of your family in a fit of anger? Is he harsh with the children or with you? Is he argumentative or ready to find fault?
18. Would you be satisfied if your sons were to treat their families as your husband treats you and the children? Does your husband honor his parents and yours in tangible ways (1 Tim. 5:8)?
Free from love of money / a good steward
19. Is your husband greedy? Does your family’s spending reflect biblical priorities? Does your husband’s job in any way conflict with his God-given responsibilities to your family? To the church?
20. Would you trust your husband to manage someone else’s money?
Household management / leadership
21. When your husband arrives home from work, does he positively or negatively influence the spiritual and relational climate of the home?
22. How would you characterize your husband’s relationship with each child? Does each child love and respect your husband, and do they feel they can approach him with any problems? Would your children say their father loves them, enjoys their company, and is really interested in what is going on in their lives? Does he do anything that causes the children exasperation (Col. 3:21)?
23. How healthy is each child, spiritually? What steps is your husband taking to shepherd them and help them to develop into fruitful adults? Do either of you ever find yourself having to raise your voice or repeat commands before your children obey? Does your husband back you up and support you in your discipline of the kids? Are any of your children beginning to manifest attitudes that trouble you?
24. Do you believe your husband has given thought to your spiritual state, and is actively nourishing and cherishing you? Has he had a purifying influence on you as his wife (Eph. 5:26-27)?
Leadership
25. Do you feel your husband’s personal conduct and care for your family is worthy of emulation by other husbands in the church (1 Pet. 5:3)? Why or why not?
26. Is your husband bossy (1 Pet. 5:3)?
27. How would you characterize your husband’s leadership style (1 Tim. 3:4)? Are there any areas of responsibility at home where your husband is not taking leadership?
28. In what ways does your husband practically serve you (Matt. 20:25-28; 1 Pet. 5:3; John 13)? Do others characterize him as a servant? How can he improve?
Not self-willed
29. Does your husband demand to get his own way in non-essentials (Titus 1:7)? Would you say he is submissive to legitimate authority and willing to defer to others?
Good reputation
30. Does your husband have a reputation for hard work, honesty, and integrity amongst others (1 Tim. 3:7)?
General spiritual health
31. If you were to identify your husband’s greatest weakness, what would you say it is (1 Cor. 10:12)? Is he aware of it? Have you seen any improvement in this area over the last year?
Serving willingly
32. Does your husband think of the eldership as a burden he must reluctantly carry (1 Tim. 3:1; 1 Pet. 5:2)?
FOR ELDERS
Above reproach
1. Are you guilty of any offense over the past year that would cause a serious reproach to Christ, His church, or the gospel if that offense were to come to light (1 Tim. 3:2)?
2. Do you hold to any distinctive views which might bring you, your household, or Christ’s church under reproach?
One-woman man
3. Is any person or thing (e.g., work or hobby) competing for the time and affection you owe your wife so that it has aroused a godly jealousy in her? Have you developed any emotional/relational attachments to other women that provoke her jealousy (1 Tim. 3:2)?
4. Are you still aggressively pursuing your wife (1 Tim. 3:2; Eph. 5:25-27)? Do you render to her the honor and love she should have as her wife? Do you demonstrate tenderness to her (Eph. 5:29)? With what frequency do you see that your wife gets a sabbath rest from her work with the household and children?
5. Are you sexually pure (1 Tim. 3:2)? Have you used pornography in the last year? Do you ever allow yourself to fantasize about sex with another partner (Matt. 5:28)?
6. Would your wife say she is sexually satisfied (1 Cor. 7:1-4)? Do you consider her desires in lovemaking and giving her pleasure (Phil. 2:3)? Do you pressure your wife to perform any sexual favors that violate her conscience? Are your relations frequent enough?
7. Do you pursue your wife in non-sexual ways? Do you understand your wife yet (1 Pet. 3:7)? Are you still trying to learn more about her?
Temperate
8. Are there any areas of behavior that are normally lawful in which someone could rightly accuse you of excess (1 Tim. 3:2)? In what areas do you most lack self-control? Are you given to great highs and lows emotionally? Would others say you are judicious in your counsel, or given to extreme and overreaction?
Prudent
9. Do you manage your household finances with prudence (1 Tim. 3:2)? Do you allocate enough resources to your wife to feed, clothe, and otherwise provide for the needs of the family (1 Tim. 5:8)? In comparison to spending for the family at large, does your spending on yourself seem selfish? In what ways are you planning for the family’s long-term needs (old age, inheritance, higher education for the kids)?
Respectable
10. Does your wife respect you (Eph. 5:33)? Does she lead the family in respecting you? In what ways do you cause her to stumble in this duty by being difficult to respect?
11. Do others respect you (1 Tim. 3:2)? Why or why not?
Hospitable
12. Are you ready to share with strangers (1 Tim. 3:2)? Do guests enjoy visiting your home? When an unexpected inconvenience arises, do you lead the family in responding to it with grace?
Sound in doctrine, able to teach (principally for elders)
13. Are you skilled in encouraging saints of differing maturity levels in the truths of Scripture (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:9)? Can you discern and refute error readily (Titus 1:9)? Are you vigilant in the care of those allotted to his charge (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2)? Are you taking any steps to study and equip yourself to discharge your responsibilities to the flock more faithfully?
14. Do you have a solid grasp of the church’s doctrinal statement and general Bible content (Titus 1:9)? If called upon, could you defend and explain these doctrines from the Word?
Judicious use of alcohol, food, and other substances
15. Have you been drunk in the last year? Do you “need” an alcoholic beverage after work to unwind? If your neighbors knew the frequency and volume of alcohol you drink, would they say you are enslaved to wine (1 Tim. 3:3)?
16. Periodic feasting aside, would others consider you a glutton?
Not pugnacious or contentious, gentle
17. Are you ever given to violent outbursts (1 Tim. 3:3)? Have you ever struck your wife or a member of your family in a fit of anger? Are you harsh with the children or your wife? Would your children and wife say that you are never satisfied with anything they do?
18. Would your wife be satisfied if your sons turned out just like you? Do you honor your parents and your wife’s parents in tangible ways?
Free from the love of money / a good steward
19. Do you often think of how you can acquire more money? Does your family’s spending reflect biblical priorities? Does your job in any way conflict with your God-given responsibilities to your family? To the church?
20. Based on how you exercise stewardship of your own resources, would others trust you to manage theirs?
Household management / leadership
21. When you return home from work, do you positively or negatively influence the spiritual and relational climate of the home?
22. How would you characterize your relationship with each child? Is there any distance or feeling of alienation with any of them? Does each child feel they can approach you with their problems? Would your children say their father loves them, enjoys their company, and is really interested in what is going on in their lives? Do you do anything that causes the children exasperation (Col. 3:21)?
23. How healthy is each child, spiritually? What steps are you taking to shepherd them and help them to develop into fruitful adults? Do either of you ever find yourself having to raise your voice or repeat commands before your children obey? Do you back up and support your wife in her discipline of the kids? Are any of your children beginning to manifest attitudes that trouble you?
24. Have you given thought to your wife’s spiritual state, and are you actively nourishing and cherishing her? Have you had a purifying or putrefying influence on your wife (Eph. 5:26-27)?
Leadership
25. Do you feel your personal conduct and care for your family is worthy of emulation by other husbands (1 Pet. 5:3)? Why or why not?
26. Are you bossy (1 Pet. 5:3)?
27. How would you characterize your leadership style (1 Tim. 3:4)? Are there any areas of responsibility at home where you are not taking leadership?
28. In what ways do you practically serve your family (Matt. 20:25-28; 1 Pet. 5:3; John 13)? Do others characterize you as a servant? How can you improve?
Not self-willed
29. Do you demand to get your own way in non-essentials (Titus 1:7)? Would others say you are submissive to legitimate authority and willing to defer to others?
Good reputation
30. Do you have a reputation for hard work, honesty, and integrity amongst others (1 Tim. 3:7)?
General spiritual health
31. If you were to identify your greatest weakness, what would you say it is (1 Cor. 10:12)? Have you seen any improvement in this area over the last year?
Serving willingly
32. Do you think of the eldership as a burden you must reluctantly carry (1 Tim. 3:1; 1 Pet. 5:2)?
FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE TOGETHER
Action items
1. Have any of the answers to these questions provoked a discussion between the two of you that should have been discussed long before?
2. Have any of the answers to these questions revealed a problem that reflects on the eldership of the church?
3. Have any of the answers to these questions revealed the need for outside counsel or accountability?
4. Have you taken the necessary steps to address these problems?
The purpose of these questions is to provide true and ongoing accountability within the families of our elders, while at the same time preserving our privacy. The elders & deacons of Living Stone Reformed Church will go through these questions with his wife annually. Our expectation is that these questions will be a tool for the couple to determine whether anything has arisen within the home which would disqualify the husband as a church officer, or which threatens to. If either of these two conditions pertain, then the husband is charged by the elders to take appropriate action, whether that action is simple repentance or arranging for pastoral counsel.
FOR WIVES OF ELDERS
Above reproach
1. Is your husband guilty of any offense over the past year that would cause a serious reproach to Christ, His church, or the gospel if that offense were to come to light (1 Tim. 3:2)?
2. Does your husband hold to any distinctive view which might bring you, your household, or Christ’s church under reproach?
One-woman man
3. Is any person or thing (e.g., work or hobby) causing you to compete for the time and affection of your husband so that it has aroused a godly jealousy? Has your husband developed any unhealthy emotional/relational attachments to any other women that cause you jealousy (1 Tim. 3:2)?
4. Is your husband still pursuing you (1 Tim. 3:2; Eph. 5:25-27)? Does he render to you the honor and love you should have as his wife? Does he demonstrate tenderness to you (Eph. 5:29)?
5. Is your husband sexually pure (1 Tim. 3:2)? Does he use pornography? Is he given to ungodly lust or fantasy (Matt. 5:28)?
6. Has your husband met your sexual needs (1 Cor. 7:1-4)? Does he consider your desires in lovemaking and giving you pleasure (Phil. 2:3)?
7. Does your husband pursue you in non-sexual ways? Does your husband understand you (1 Pet. 3:7)? What is he doing lately to know you better?
Temperate
8. Is your husband given to any excess (1 Tim. 3:2)? Is there any area in which he substantively lacks self-control? Is he given to great highs or lows emotionally? Is he judicious or given to extremes in the counsel he gives?
Prudent
9. Does your husband manage your household finances with prudence (1 Tim. 3:2)? Does he allocate to you enough resources to feed, clothe, and otherwise provide for the needs of the family (1 Tim. 5:8)? In comparison to spending for the family at large, does his spending on himself appear selfish? Is your husband planning for the family’s long-term needs?
Respectable
10. Do you find rendering respect to your husband something you must strain to do (Eph. 5:33)?
11. Do others respect your husband (1 Tim. 3:2)? Why or why not?
Hospitable
12. Is your husband ready to show hospitality to others (1 Tim. 3:2)? Do guests enjoy visiting your home? Does your husband bear with unexpected inconveniences graciously?
Sound in doctrine, able to teach (principally for elders)
13. Is your husband well-equipped to encourage saints of differing maturity levels in the truths of Scripture (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:9)? Can he discern and refute error readily (Titus 1:9)? Is he vigilant in his care of those allotted to his charge (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2)? Is he taking any steps to study and equip himself to discharge his responsibilities to the flock more faithfully?
14. Does your husband have a solid grasp of the church’s doctrinal statement and general Bible content (Titus 1:9)? If called upon, could he defend and explain these doctrines from the Word?
Judicious use of alcohol, food, and other substances
15. Has your husband been drunk in the last year? Does he “need” an alcoholic beverage after work to unwind? If your neighbors knew the frequency and volume of alcohol he drinks, would they say he is enslaved to wine (1 Tim. 3:3)?
16. Periodic feasting aside, would others consider your husband a glutton?
Not pugnacious or contentious, gentle
17. Is your husband ever given to violent outbursts (1 Tim. 3:3)? Has he struck you or any member of your family in a fit of anger? Is he harsh with the children or with you? Is he argumentative or ready to find fault?
18. Would you be satisfied if your sons were to treat their families as your husband treats you and the children? Does your husband honor his parents and yours in tangible ways (1 Tim. 5:8)?
Free from love of money / a good steward
19. Is your husband greedy? Does your family’s spending reflect biblical priorities? Does your husband’s job in any way conflict with his God-given responsibilities to your family? To the church?
20. Would you trust your husband to manage someone else’s money?
Household management / leadership
21. When your husband arrives home from work, does he positively or negatively influence the spiritual and relational climate of the home?
22. How would you characterize your husband’s relationship with each child? Does each child love and respect your husband, and do they feel they can approach him with any problems? Would your children say their father loves them, enjoys their company, and is really interested in what is going on in their lives? Does he do anything that causes the children exasperation (Col. 3:21)?
23. How healthy is each child, spiritually? What steps is your husband taking to shepherd them and help them to develop into fruitful adults? Do either of you ever find yourself having to raise your voice or repeat commands before your children obey? Does your husband back you up and support you in your discipline of the kids? Are any of your children beginning to manifest attitudes that trouble you?
24. Do you believe your husband has given thought to your spiritual state, and is actively nourishing and cherishing you? Has he had a purifying influence on you as his wife (Eph. 5:26-27)?
Leadership
25. Do you feel your husband’s personal conduct and care for your family is worthy of emulation by other husbands in the church (1 Pet. 5:3)? Why or why not?
26. Is your husband bossy (1 Pet. 5:3)?
27. How would you characterize your husband’s leadership style (1 Tim. 3:4)? Are there any areas of responsibility at home where your husband is not taking leadership?
28. In what ways does your husband practically serve you (Matt. 20:25-28; 1 Pet. 5:3; John 13)? Do others characterize him as a servant? How can he improve?
Not self-willed
29. Does your husband demand to get his own way in non-essentials (Titus 1:7)? Would you say he is submissive to legitimate authority and willing to defer to others?
Good reputation
30. Does your husband have a reputation for hard work, honesty, and integrity amongst others (1 Tim. 3:7)?
General spiritual health
31. If you were to identify your husband’s greatest weakness, what would you say it is (1 Cor. 10:12)? Is he aware of it? Have you seen any improvement in this area over the last year?
Serving willingly
32. Does your husband think of the eldership as a burden he must reluctantly carry (1 Tim. 3:1; 1 Pet. 5:2)?
FOR ELDERS
Above reproach
1. Are you guilty of any offense over the past year that would cause a serious reproach to Christ, His church, or the gospel if that offense were to come to light (1 Tim. 3:2)?
2. Do you hold to any distinctive views which might bring you, your household, or Christ’s church under reproach?
One-woman man
3. Is any person or thing (e.g., work or hobby) competing for the time and affection you owe your wife so that it has aroused a godly jealousy in her? Have you developed any emotional/relational attachments to other women that provoke her jealousy (1 Tim. 3:2)?
4. Are you still aggressively pursuing your wife (1 Tim. 3:2; Eph. 5:25-27)? Do you render to her the honor and love she should have as her wife? Do you demonstrate tenderness to her (Eph. 5:29)? With what frequency do you see that your wife gets a sabbath rest from her work with the household and children?
5. Are you sexually pure (1 Tim. 3:2)? Have you used pornography in the last year? Do you ever allow yourself to fantasize about sex with another partner (Matt. 5:28)?
6. Would your wife say she is sexually satisfied (1 Cor. 7:1-4)? Do you consider her desires in lovemaking and giving her pleasure (Phil. 2:3)? Do you pressure your wife to perform any sexual favors that violate her conscience? Are your relations frequent enough?
7. Do you pursue your wife in non-sexual ways? Do you understand your wife yet (1 Pet. 3:7)? Are you still trying to learn more about her?
Temperate
8. Are there any areas of behavior that are normally lawful in which someone could rightly accuse you of excess (1 Tim. 3:2)? In what areas do you most lack self-control? Are you given to great highs and lows emotionally? Would others say you are judicious in your counsel, or given to extreme and overreaction?
Prudent
9. Do you manage your household finances with prudence (1 Tim. 3:2)? Do you allocate enough resources to your wife to feed, clothe, and otherwise provide for the needs of the family (1 Tim. 5:8)? In comparison to spending for the family at large, does your spending on yourself seem selfish? In what ways are you planning for the family’s long-term needs (old age, inheritance, higher education for the kids)?
Respectable
10. Does your wife respect you (Eph. 5:33)? Does she lead the family in respecting you? In what ways do you cause her to stumble in this duty by being difficult to respect?
11. Do others respect you (1 Tim. 3:2)? Why or why not?
Hospitable
12. Are you ready to share with strangers (1 Tim. 3:2)? Do guests enjoy visiting your home? When an unexpected inconvenience arises, do you lead the family in responding to it with grace?
Sound in doctrine, able to teach (principally for elders)
13. Are you skilled in encouraging saints of differing maturity levels in the truths of Scripture (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:9)? Can you discern and refute error readily (Titus 1:9)? Are you vigilant in the care of those allotted to his charge (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2)? Are you taking any steps to study and equip yourself to discharge your responsibilities to the flock more faithfully?
14. Do you have a solid grasp of the church’s doctrinal statement and general Bible content (Titus 1:9)? If called upon, could you defend and explain these doctrines from the Word?
Judicious use of alcohol, food, and other substances
15. Have you been drunk in the last year? Do you “need” an alcoholic beverage after work to unwind? If your neighbors knew the frequency and volume of alcohol you drink, would they say you are enslaved to wine (1 Tim. 3:3)?
16. Periodic feasting aside, would others consider you a glutton?
Not pugnacious or contentious, gentle
17. Are you ever given to violent outbursts (1 Tim. 3:3)? Have you ever struck your wife or a member of your family in a fit of anger? Are you harsh with the children or your wife? Would your children and wife say that you are never satisfied with anything they do?
18. Would your wife be satisfied if your sons turned out just like you? Do you honor your parents and your wife’s parents in tangible ways?
Free from the love of money / a good steward
19. Do you often think of how you can acquire more money? Does your family’s spending reflect biblical priorities? Does your job in any way conflict with your God-given responsibilities to your family? To the church?
20. Based on how you exercise stewardship of your own resources, would others trust you to manage theirs?
Household management / leadership
21. When you return home from work, do you positively or negatively influence the spiritual and relational climate of the home?
22. How would you characterize your relationship with each child? Is there any distance or feeling of alienation with any of them? Does each child feel they can approach you with their problems? Would your children say their father loves them, enjoys their company, and is really interested in what is going on in their lives? Do you do anything that causes the children exasperation (Col. 3:21)?
23. How healthy is each child, spiritually? What steps are you taking to shepherd them and help them to develop into fruitful adults? Do either of you ever find yourself having to raise your voice or repeat commands before your children obey? Do you back up and support your wife in her discipline of the kids? Are any of your children beginning to manifest attitudes that trouble you?
24. Have you given thought to your wife’s spiritual state, and are you actively nourishing and cherishing her? Have you had a purifying or putrefying influence on your wife (Eph. 5:26-27)?
Leadership
25. Do you feel your personal conduct and care for your family is worthy of emulation by other husbands (1 Pet. 5:3)? Why or why not?
26. Are you bossy (1 Pet. 5:3)?
27. How would you characterize your leadership style (1 Tim. 3:4)? Are there any areas of responsibility at home where you are not taking leadership?
28. In what ways do you practically serve your family (Matt. 20:25-28; 1 Pet. 5:3; John 13)? Do others characterize you as a servant? How can you improve?
Not self-willed
29. Do you demand to get your own way in non-essentials (Titus 1:7)? Would others say you are submissive to legitimate authority and willing to defer to others?
Good reputation
30. Do you have a reputation for hard work, honesty, and integrity amongst others (1 Tim. 3:7)?
General spiritual health
31. If you were to identify your greatest weakness, what would you say it is (1 Cor. 10:12)? Have you seen any improvement in this area over the last year?
Serving willingly
32. Do you think of the eldership as a burden you must reluctantly carry (1 Tim. 3:1; 1 Pet. 5:2)?
FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE TOGETHER
Action items
1. Have any of the answers to these questions provoked a discussion between the two of you that should have been discussed long before?
2. Have any of the answers to these questions revealed a problem that reflects on the eldership of the church?
3. Have any of the answers to these questions revealed the need for outside counsel or accountability?
4. Have you taken the necessary steps to address these problems?